To My Former Self

To you, Wilfried, or rather Wil, Wilou, Wiw for some close ones, even Willy for those lacking imagination. Big head, uncle, Karl for the mockers, President for the fervent admirers. The time has come to bow out, to symbolically part from you, my old self, my silent nemesis. You, the familiar shadow who knows me better than anyone, whom I could never deceive, I leave you behind, hoping at last for the redemption of our intertwined existences.

We both know, perhaps too well, that this body, this shared mind, has drifted through an existence often against its will, carried by the capricious current of endless misfortunes. You have suffered, wandered like a lost soul in this hostile ocean we call youth. Intelligent, lively, athletic and truthfully skilled, sometimes clumsy in your radiant enthusiasm, you navigated alone, despite the crowd. You remember, don’t you? That bench of friends that never offered you a seat, that ocean which, instead of growing with you, became a merciless battleground.

I saw you, the double that emerged from the first collapse of your illusions. Every disappointment, every blow to your naivety, only deepened the soul of this other part of you—darker, more aware. We have coexisted for so long that I now believe I know you by heart, even if the body we inhabit seems to push us each day further toward separation.

And yet, Wilfried, the time has come. You must be left behind, in the past, where you belong. Not out of resentment, but to be reborn.

I leave with you our childhood dreams, those dreams of glory on the courts and tracks where the horizon seemed infinite, and the burning desires of adolescence, embodied by those girls who made our hearts race faster than our feet could run. I leave with you, too, those aspirations, those chimera-like ambitions we relentlessly pursued, like mirages in the desert, becoming slaves to those illusions despite ourselves.

But rest assured, I do not leave empty-handed. I am reborn, at last, with new ambitions, new dreams—clearer, more solid. The Wilfried of this new world, the one I have become, is committed to fulfilling the task that was once yours, with the same fervor, the same passion that defined you, but with a newfound clarity. Remember, I was born from disappointments, from your failures, to make you shine, to bring to this inner struggle the light you once could not achieve.

We will shine together, not just for ourselves, but for all those who, at some point, contributed to our abandoned quests. Our family, our friends, all those silent protagonists, sometimes forgotten, to whom we owe a deep gratitude. To them, I owe a continued silence, but also respect to what they did and still do for us, just as you did for so long. Even now, after years of whims, detours, silent battles, I am forced to ask for their ultimate patience. A patience I dream of rewarding in grand style, in a way that matches the hopes they placed in you, then in us, and perhaps even the promises we failed to keep.

There is still so much to resolve—within our family ties, with our friendships, in the realm of our studies and the career we’ve barely begun. But believe me, the ultimate goal of it all, the final outcome, can be nothing less than a happy ending. An ending worthy of the tears you shed, of the broken heart that birthed within me the need to make sense of it all. So that the soul of that child, that child who had so much to give, may finally find rest.

This is a journey I undertake for the first time without you, not out of abandonment, but out of necessity. So that we may finally shine, as we have always deserved, alongside those who, out of sheer charity, helped us to survive.

It’s time, Wilfried. The moment has come to say goodbye—not without sorrow, but with the conviction that this is how our paths must diverge. Know, though, that I will never forget you. You will remain etched in every fiber of my being, in every memory that shaped me. I will carry the imprint of who you were, with tenderness, and remember always that no matter what happens, I will love you forever.

Take care of yourself, where I leave you, in that past where you shall rest.

Your New Self.